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June 7th, 2007

(no subject)

so i hadd said thatt me an kayla was goin outt but we broke upp. i still love her though. i guess it was just a bad time for us to get back together. so when we broke upp i gott back wiff danielle. she says she loves me. an thatt iffin i dun play games wiff her she won't play them wiff me. ....but well she isn't tha brightest. i have her myspace password (she gave itt ta me cuz i'm tha one thatt normally fixes upp her page) an she talkz ta guyz on there all tha time.

tha guy: yo whats good ma 
meh gurl: Ha pimpin u got a gurl cuz damn ur sexy
tha guy: na but im lookin for a wifwy why whats good ma whats your name and do you got a mans
meh gurl:Na but shited whre u live cauze i can turn into ya wife if u treat mi right thoug
tha guy:word ma on the real or is you playing in me an yo ya na mean im moving on my own in 2 months to wre ever i get a wifey at an namean a place to live for sure
meh girl:Damn ur in New York and i'm in tha ATl so how would we ever meet? y u aint got nobody cus u know r sexy are u a player or are u rally lookin foe some one for real?
tha guy:na i ant no player im a real dude im lookin for a wifet an like i said im moving on my own in 2 months to were ever i get a wifey at an a plca to live
meh gurl:Well who knowz maybe when we et 2 know each other more I can become r wife letz start off az friendz and well see what happenz . Whatz up with tha wife no gurl friend juz the whole 9 yardz dawn thatz a first?
tha guy:na i mean havinbg a girl not the whole nine yards wifey just a girl na mean an yo whats good with you do you go to school an u live on your own or with someone

well thattz all they've said back an forth so far.  
kayla is meh life an i love her but danielle is who i'm wiff. an i kno how ta treat meh girlz rite (when i wantt ta) an i've alwayz treated her rite. i've lost way to many of meh frenze ova her an i buy her thingz all tha time an spend all meh time wiff her. shiytt i'ma prolli lose meh family life when i tell them about her beacuse she is black, which isn't allowed in meh hosuehold. she says she loves me. an we hadd sex on saturday an when we didd she said she wantted us ta make love, nott have sex, so'z thatt thatta i would kno she was mine an i could have her fereva. when we started datin she would lie an tell everyone we wasn't tagether but now iffin ne one att tha skool ask she will be str8 upp an tell em thatt yeah i'm her girl. she would alwayz flirt wiff guyz infronta meh face an leave me ta go talk ta guyz, now she still flirtz every now an then but no wherez near as much as she used ta . an there was tha whole incadent where when we hadd first started datin she hadd gott madd att me over somethin ( i dun even rember whatt now ) an she left tha skool an slept wiff some guy she jus mett. she said tha reason was beacuse she was madd att me an horny. an i even lett thatt shiytt slide. i realli thought she was changin but damn i was wrong. she ain't changin shez jus gittin better att hidin whatt she does. well atleast she thinks she'z gittin better att itt. 
idk whatt ta do. wiff alla this is still dun think i could break upp wiff her. she walks all ova me time an time agin an i lett her an i have no clue why. 
someone needz ta jus slapp me untill i gitt some sense knocked inta meh dumb ass.

May 29th, 2007

(no subject)

i am sittin here in class bored as hell. an i have a head ache. an a stomache ache. an meh room mate kept me upp till 2 in tha fuckin morning wiff non stopp talking and i wantt ta strangle her fer itt. jus liyke sew her mouth shutt. an ugh jus GRRRRR!
(so ok i'm in a badd mood as well but i'll gitt inta thatt later)

May 17th, 2007

(no subject)


ok so i realli need ta back in tha loop of writin on here. i honestly fergott all about itt untill someone left me a comment.
well herez tha new whattz upp wiff me...

     I'm still trying to get into the hang of being back in school. i'm horriable in my business tech class for the simple fact of that i wantted in there ta learn how ta do more in tha computer and they dun have us doin ne thin but math and english. which is whatt i didn know i'd be in there fer. i'm jus realli nott good in thatt class. an all meh frenze are in there so i'm pretti badd also att concentrating beacuse i play wiff meh frenze insteada work.
     In meh math class (meh worst subject) i'm actually doin pretti good. meh math teacher, mrs.hardy, kickz ass. shez realli a great teacher cuz i'm finally learnin math. i've never understood itt EVER but i learn whatt she teaches.
     And i haven't been gittin in as much trouble. but thattz mainly cuz i've learned whatt i can an can't do an where i can do thingz wiff outt gittin caught.


     So i hadd been datin a girl named Danielle. she was real sweet an funny an all thatt jazz but meh ex (kayla) asked me back outt an I love her wiff all meh heart so i couldn pass upp thatt chance ta be herz again. she hurt me real badd when she broke upp wiff me last year but i fergave her and now i'm herz again so everythin is back ta how itt should be. i've been bein a bit of ass about her frenze/ex thou cuz i'm worried she is gonna break upp  wiff me again fer one of them an i gitt jealous a whole lott easier now beacuse of itt. liyke i know she would neva cheat on me but she broke upp wiff me once an ain't nuttin gonna stopp her from doin itt again.  as of now thou i'm veri happy ta be back wiff her. an next month when i go home fer summer break i'm sposed ta see her agin fer tha first time in a long time an i'm so excited. i also will be there ta meet her ex. which i'm nervous about cuz i dun kno how i'm sposed ta act infronta him. a few of her friendz are comming as well. frenze tend ta judge their frenze gfz an i'm worried i'ma do some kinda somethin (even iffin ittz trip ova meh shoe an fall flat on meh face) thatt would  make them be liyke ummm mayb u need ta choose some one else. kayla is meh world thou. she has been fer a veri long time an i kno there is no one outt there better fer me then her. shez meh everythin. 

3. Smoking/Shrinks

I have an oppointment wiff tha shink on tha 29th of this month an then she is sposed ta upp meh medicne dousage (spl?) an i guess thattz cuz i'm a biytch an they dun liyke meh attitude cuz i kno i ain't bipolor... i'm jus tired of ass hole ppl an thattz how thatt is. i still gitt madd an hitt thingz but i learned where i can do itt wiff outt gittin caught an so there for whatt they dun kno is best cuza they alreadi told me once thatt they could kick me outt fer thatt so i ain't gonna lett them ta do thatt. i aint cut sense meh last entry. so i'm proud of me fer thatt one.  i also still have been takin meh depression medz. mayb thattz why? i don't kno.
     I also have joined tha quit smokin class thatt is offered att meh skool. mainly cuz i feel badd cuz i gott one of meh frenze thattz a nonsmoker ta start smokin. but she only smokez certian kinda cigz. they have this kind called smoothez an they leave tha taste of mint chocolate in yer mouth an meh gawd they are so good. but i haven't smoked fer a week so thattz good. althou tha honest only reason i ain't smoked in a while is cuza thatt i ain't hadd a way ta gitt cigg. so yeah.

ne wayz

i guess thattz all fer rite now cuz i need ta gitt offa here and go do meh laundry.

April 30th, 2007

(no subject)

mayb i ain't doin so much as i thought i was.
i cut agin
but i dun realli wanna gitt inta why, mainly beacuse i'm shure of tha reason.
i regret itt now cuz there wasn't a real reason fer me to. itt felt so good at the time but now i'm ashamed about itt.

April 25th, 2007

(no subject)

so i took this online quiz thing an itt said thatt this was how meh personality was ... ne one think this is true/untrue?

trait snapshot:

open, tough, irritable, worrying, does not like to be alone, craves attention, low self control, emotionally sensitive, interacting, sad, very social, aggressive, prefer organized to unpredictable, dependent, social chameleon, suspicious, values the heart over the mind, likes large parties, outgoing, likes to make fun, likes to fit in, mildly phobic, vain, makes friends easily, enjoys leadership, clingy, rash

April 23rd, 2007

(no subject)

in hope that my livejournal page is only messing up on my computer i have decided to go on ahead and make a post.
fisrt off things school wise have been going good for me. i went from phase 0 to phase 2. and i have gotten 9 positives. also things with my meds are going good. sense i have decided i might as well take them they are sort of starting to have an effect on me. i haven't been being such an ass to people.
so school is going good.
but then i am worried about going home. i don't want to. and break is in a few months.i know i should want to go home but i really do not want to. my mom is going to drive me crazy, don't get me wrong i love her and miss her but i don't think i can stay in a house with that woman.

April 12th, 2007

u unfaithful biytch

.... ok so i have been beyond unfaithful to my life journal lately and i feel bad about it. which is silly but thattz thatt. WELL... soon i am going to have a veri long entry (liyke mayb tanite or tomrow-but iffin neither of them then definitly by friday) sooo thattz thatt. but ne one wiff meh email go on ahead an emil me still.. i promise i haven't fallen off tha face of tha universe i'm jus been busy.

April 11th, 2007

(no subject)

i am so beyond tryed. we are in comp class rite now an i'm fallin asleep typin. itt realli sux ass

April 7th, 2007

(no subject)



ok these are tha reasonz thatt tha medz thatt i was putt on should nott be goin inta meh alreadi fucked upp self. specially thatt celexa one. 
lettz see i was putt on celexa taday fer depression an then tha other one zyprexa fer cuz tha ladi said i hadd extreme bipolar-nessism. (yes i kno tha nessism didn need ta be there but i wantted itt there) but i realli dun think thatt i am. ppl are crazi. gawd damn. 
well celexa i take in tha mornin an then zyprexa i take att nite. they sound tha same. i dun liyke 'em. they suck.

so ne wayz this big headed ass wad is makin me madd thatt is sittin beside me. an she jus hitt me cuz she is a biytch liyke thatt. ...femalez.  
naw realli shez ok. but tha whole straight thing has gotta go. we are gonna hadta work on thatt shiytt. 
an she typez real slow. liyke a turtle. 
..an she jus hitt me agin... lyike i'm a damn punchin bag... an i ain't ... rude damn femalez.. i swear. 

but she keepz biytchin thatt no one wanttz ta read this so i'ma gitt offa here now even thou i realli dun give a damn whatt her dick wad self thinkz but thattz ok.


April 6th, 2007

(no subject)

i am so bored. but thattz normal. meh fren jus kicked me in tha rear an said itt was cuz i'm havin a good day. ...i do nott att all see tha logic in thatt but hey whaddeva. i guess ittz one of them gitt yer kickz in before i have a bad day agin?

i offered fer christina ta come down in december an she said thatt she'd try ta mayb an so i'm jus in a good mood cuza ova thatt. but idk. she prolli won't come but ittz still jus a good thought ta have. jus ta be able ta see someone outt side of this damn skool is enough ta make ya wanna do flippz. an thattz thatt.

we are doin brain teaserz on taday an they are tha kind thatt liyke rite when u read em they hurt yer head an ya gotta read itt 5timez over ta even sorta understand ta begin wiff.
see herez one:

Four men,whom we shall call Robert, Ralph, Ronald, and Rudolph, were playing cards one evening. As a result of a quarrel during the course of the game, one of there men shot and killed another. From the facts below determine the murder and the victim.
Rudolh had known Ronald for only five days prior to the murder.
Robert will not expose his brothers guilt . 
Rudolph has been released from jail on the day of the murder, after serving a three day sentence.
Ralph met Robert's father only once.
Robert had wheeled Ralp, a cripple, to the card game at Ronald's home.
The host is about to give evidence against the murderer, whom he dislikes.
The murdered man had eaten dinner on the previous evening with one of the men who did not customarily bowl with Ronald.

yeah... thattz tha kinda shiytt we are doin taday. but ittz all good. 

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